Tahira Kashyap Interview: A man gets respect instantly, a woman has to earn it – Ayushmann Khurrana’s wife said bluntly

Years ago, she was known as the wife of famous actor Ayushman Khurana, but by becoming a professor, writer, director and winning the battle against breast cancer, she not only proved herself to be a fighter but also created her own unique identity. We are talking about Tahira Kashyap. After writing many books and directing short films, she is now in front with her new feature film ‘Sharma ji ki beti’. A special conversation with her. About seven years ago, your short film ‘Toffee’ was released and now you are bringing your film ‘Sharma ji ki Beti’ on OTT?
-I always wanted to become a director. But it took a few more years to gather courage. I was brought up in a middle-class family, so financial stability is very important to me. I did theatre for ten years in school and college, but when I tried to convert amateur theatre into a professional theatre group, no one came to buy tickets. At that time I took the help of a corporate job.

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‘The film was praised, writing and direction got a boost’

‘I did my post graduation in journalism and mass communication. Then I became a professor in college. Before that I worked in radio. Even when I was doing all this work, my heart was somewhere else. This was the reason why I made my first short film ‘Toffee’. I got a lot of love for this film. This film was appreciated in many film festivals like MAMI, Taiwan International Film Festivals. This appreciation strengthened my writing and direction. After that I made 2-3 more short films and now I have come up with ‘Sharma ji ki beti’ which revolves around five women. I believe that in today’s time, making a women-centric film, highlighting it and releasing it is a huge task. Therefore, this journey has been very challenging for me. This film is special for me. It has everything – drama and comedy.’

You are coming up with your first feature film as a director. When will you direct your actor husband Ayushmann Khurrana?

Ayushmann Khurrana and Tahira Kashyap

-(Laughs) Whenever I find a male character in my stories, I will have to write a script for him/her. A story that he/she will like as well as I will. It will be mutual. he/she is my senior in the industry, so I will have to do a little more work to direct him/her.

So what kind of challenges have you faced?
-Being a female director is a different challenge, but the challenges of being a woman are also not less. When you step out of the house, you are made to feel at every step that you are a woman in terms of priorities. Whether it is a waiter coming and giving you the menu card or who is he/she handing over the bill to? he/she does not give you the bill, he/she does not expect that you will pay the bill or you will order the menu. he/she thinks that only a man will pay the bill. In our society itself, I have observed that the security says Jai Hind Sir, Jai Hind Maam is rarely said. We have to face this inequality in everyday life. These are still very small things. We women have to face inequality whether it is education or job opportunity. Salary and our rights are very big issues. We have to face bias even in terms of getting respect. So the challenges of being a woman are endless and I have shown those challenges in a light-hearted manner in my film.

‘A man gets instant respect, a woman has to prove herself’
Tahira said, ‘When a man goes out of the house for work, he/she immediately gets respect for being a man, whereas a woman has to prove herself more that she knows her work. On your set, in front of the crew, you have to prove that you are an expert in your work. Women have to constantly prove on every front that they are good mothers, good wives. It takes a lot of energy.’

As a breast cancer survivor, you have also been a fighter. What was the most difficult thing for you in your battle with cancer?

-Look, physical pain is a part of the battle against cancer, which one has to go through. But it was no less painful to know how patriarchal thinking plays its role during the treatment. When I came to know about my breast cancer, I decided to handle it in a very positive and dignified manner. During my treatment, I came to know that many women do not get their mammography and chemotherapy done, because in a joint family system they cannot say bra, so how can they say that there is a lump in their breast. Saying breast is a taboo. Many women lose their lives due to not getting this treatment. The doctor told me the statistics, which are very frightening. We women are always objectified that the function of breasts is for some special thing. But people forget that when a woman gives birth to a child, it has to be fed from the breast only. This was very shocking and painful for me. This was the reason why I shared my breast cancer journey with people, so that awareness is created among people.

Apart from being a multi-talented person, you are also a mother of two children. How do you manage? Do you also suffer from mother guilt? -I think mother guilt is a part of the life of all mothers. You won’t believe that I am here interviewing you and I am thinking whether the children have had their evening snacks or not? Really, whatever work you are doing, you are always worried about the children. I think, we men should also keep asking this question like hammering that how do you manage children and work? Maybe they will start feeling guilty and then maybe our guilt will reduce. This is necessary.