Smile, you are in India! You can enjoy life even on the path of struggle

Author: Ramesh Tiwari

There is a dilemma inside us. We want to save ourselves and our family from every pain. We make a lot of efforts for this, in fact most of the efforts are made for this. Studying hard, passing competitive exams, finding a job with a good salary or starting a business. And then we think that life will be set once we get married. That point may come when we realize that there is no uncertainty in our life now, at least in terms of money. But if everything in life is set, everything keeps moving forward in a pre-determined manner, will it be a good situation? This question comes to the mind of many people.

Today this question is being discussed on social media. A post of an Indian origin person living in Singapore came out on X. In this he/she has written that our life is going on in a perfect way but we feel that our daughter has become very soft because of this. We ourselves have forgotten what kind of mismanagement happens in India. Actually we have also become soft. This is the reason why we are going to Bangalore so that my daughter can understand the uncertainties of life. After this post, there were many reactions on social media.

This decision reminds us of the story of Savji Dholakia. he/she is a diamond businessman from Gujarat. his/her company is worth thousands of crores and has a presence all over the world. Savji is known for giving cars and flats as bonus to his/her employees. A few years ago, one of his/her decisions became very famous. he/she encouraged his/her only son to go to Kochi for a month. The purpose was that his/her son should live an anonymous life there. he/she should know how the poor struggle for jobs and money. Savji’s 21-year-old son Dravya Dholakia was then doing MBA from America. he/she came home for vacation. he/she went to Kochi with 3 pairs of clothes. his/her father gave him/her 7000 rupees, but only for expenses in case of an emergency. Dravya could neither use his/her father’s identity, nor his/her mobile phone, nor 7000 rupees. he/she was not supposed to work at one place for more than a week. Even if it was for a short time, he/she saw the ups and downs of life.

If we look around us today, what do we see? We will find many people who are considered very successful in their lives. There is a lot of struggle behind this success. This same person nurtures a strange desire that his/her family should not have to struggle. If the wife or children go somewhere in a car, they should sit in an AC car and directly reach the mall, school or somewhere else. What came and what went on the way… he/she does not pay attention to it. For years he/she roams around many corners of the city. But if someday his/her wife has to return home alone from the mall, school or somewhere else by public transport… no, this will not be possible. he/she does not even know the names of the routes and intersections of the city through which he/she has been passing for years.

Identifying fresh vegetables in the market, completing bank paperwork, maintaining traditions in friendship and relatives… the best learning of all these things can be found in the family itself. As parents, we hand over all the gadgets to our children and think that we have laid out all the happiness at their feet. We can boast of being the best father or mother by taking them to the mall every weekend and feeding them in good restaurants. We never even think whether our growing son will be able to understand the nuances of health insurance claim if he/she suddenly has to be admitted to the hospital. In happy days, we think, why think about bad events in advance!

We want to lay every facility at the feet of the family. Slowly the family also starts realizing that we do not need to struggle for anything. The problem starts after that. The heroes that emerge in the society often come from those sections which were neglected, who did not get adequate facilities, whether in studies, sports, employment or other areas of life. Then we compare ourselves with them and find that the comforts and facilities we collected became obstacles in the future progress of our children.

Today, the race to outdo each other for money in society is not just a race to make one’s life secure. This race is also so that our next 7 generations do not have to struggle. To ensure this, if someone has to resort to corruption, he/she does it. When these houses are filled with wealth, does happiness start pouring in? No, then new problems arise. The new generation starts spending money with such ease that the older generation, who earned everything through their hard work, starts feeling uncomfortable. This leads to a conflict between the two generations within the house. The new generation is unable to understand what is wrong in spending blindly?

Every year, lakhs of youth in the country want to settle down in America and Canada. They feel that their dreams can be fulfilled there. Certainly, a large number of youth do not return to India. It may be easy to criticize the difficulties of life in India. It is a different thing to live in those difficulties and turn them into ease. The story of the film ‘Swadesh’ is worth remembering in this context. NRI Mohan Bhargava lives in America and works as a project manager in the space agency NASA. When Mohan comes to India once, he/she comes across the problems of the village here. he/she also finds solutions to some of them. Then he/she goes back to America for NASA work. he/she does not like it there and comes to India and settles down.

Even if one wishes to pass on the struggle, the fear is that it may become a trauma. We think that trauma causes stress. Sometimes it can even be life-threatening. But trauma also carries life forward. This theory has been put forward very strongly by psychologist Richard Tedeschi. he/she says, ‘After experiencing traumatic events, people develop a new understanding of themselves. We develop a new understanding of the world in which we live. We learn how to relate to other people.’

Tough struggles force us to face our fears. They make us mentally and emotionally strong individuals. The life skills we gain can be applied to future challenges. This is true not only for living in India but also for any corner of the world. Life is an extraordinary journey. It has hopes and disappointments. It has victories and failures. It is through the struggles we face that we actually find our strength. These struggles give us resilience, which increases our capacity for growth. Challenges may seem scary at first, but they shape the strength within us. Life is not fun without struggle. It is important for us to happily accept the adversities that come our way.