If the older child insists on getting his/her point across, handle it in these 3 ways

Teach kids to stay within limits

If you feel that your child is taking advantage of you, then it is a sign that you have given him/her a free hand. Many parents do not tell their adult children to stay within their limits because they fear that this may alienate the children from them. But if you give them complete freedom, then it will increase your problems. So set limits for your adult children.

For example

Geeta noticed that her 26-year-old son Rahul kept asking her for money but never returned it. Initially, he/she kept giving money to avoid arguments, but gradually anger and resentment grew inside him/her. After talking to a therapist, Geeta had to tell her adult child, ‘I love you, but I cannot always give you money. Now it is time for you to take care of your responsibilities.’

Setting limits doesn’t mean you’re being cruel to your child, but rather that you’re lovingly guiding them while respecting their own needs.

Advice: Teach your child to stick to boundaries. Learn to say no without regrets, and make your child understand that these boundaries are for the good of both of you.

Let him/her deal with his/her own problems

When a child is in trouble, it is natural for parents to immediately help him/her. But by doing this, the child will not be able to learn to solve the problem himself.

for example

Mahesh’s 30-year-old daughter Neha would call her father whenever she ran into a problem related to work or friends. Mahesh would drop everything to help her every time, which left her mentally exhausted. But during a coaching session, Marcus realised that helping him/her every time would never help her solve her problem.

​he/she started telling Neha, I know you can handle yourself. This change helped Neha learn to deal with her problems on her own, and the pressure on Marcus also decreased.

Advice: Support your adult child as much as you can, but don’t solve every problem. Let your child learn from their mistakes and grow in confidence.

Don’t get angry, but explain with love

Many parents think that they have to either remain completely silent or speak very strictly. But both the methods are not effective. Explain to them lovingly and tell your point clearly without getting angry.

for example

Ragini was frustrated with her 25-year-old husband Amit as he/she would often come late to family dinners without apologising. Without getting angry, Jenna told Amit, “I don’t like it when you come late. If you are going to be late, tell us in advance so that we can plan.”

Advice: Explain to the child with love. This will make him/her listen to you.
It takes a lot of patience to bring about a change in your relationship with your adult child. You can fix your relationship with your child by teaching him/her to stay within limits, teaching him/her to deal with the problem, and explaining things to him/her lovingly.